I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I need mimosas to revive my soul
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
