What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
