I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
