do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
