he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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