fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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