I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
