a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
