when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
