i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
