A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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