Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
