So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
