Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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