I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
