you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So here I am, sexting at work.
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