I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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