He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
