we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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