i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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