my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Boobs speak an international language.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
