How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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