Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
