It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so let's talk penis.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
