His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
