Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
