I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
