Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
