I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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