Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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