so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sext me about skeletons
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
