ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
nutella sex= disaster
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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