I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
