i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
