Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
