my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
