I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
