His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
