Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
