we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
