Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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