im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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