would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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