Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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