I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
