I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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