so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
