when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
