After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
