yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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